Flaws and Imperfections

Let's face it , we all have flaws and imperfections, nobody is perfect, even if some of us think we are pretty damn close ! Today we are all more concerned with what is on the outside, however we all know that appearances can be deceiving. We could all do with more work on the inside if we were more honest with ourselves, however our pride or egoes can get in the way of seeing inner beauty. With a constant barrage of images of perfect faces and bodies in our magazines, websites, adverts and movies, the subliminal messages we are constantly being fed can lead to a dysmorphic view of reality. It is all around to witness with more and more people choosing plastic surgery to enhance what they were not naturally bestowed with. Nipped and tucked, pinned and sucked. People's obsession with the body beautiful or the quest for eternal youth and sex appeal seems never ending . An industry built off the backs of peoples insecurities, hopes and dreams, taking advantage of people's vanity, desperation to be desired, loved, accepted or envied. Many believing now that cosmetic surgery is the answer to all their prayers, or their secret to success.

The manner in which we are constantly being programmed by the media, leads us all to believe that looking a certain way means we each will find love, or achieve success, power, respect, or all of the above. It is constant and repetitive to the point where we never even question the motivation or the emotion associated with images in your face daily, or if it is even right, or whether it conveys the right message to people which is honest and true . They are not concerned with these questions because their motivation is money . The way we look dominates our everyday lives, and let's not forget this is a billion dollar industry, those whose coffers we fill and refill fuels our vanity in this insatiable thirst for 'perfection'.

We now live in a society where it is not uncommon to hear of Jane, 16, asking her mum for 'new boobs' for her eighteenth birthday, but you are never too old.  Newly divorced mum of 3 , Linda 60 years old, recently got a boob job...will it help her be happy ? after being traded in for a younger model? so do new boobs in this case = new love perhaps ? new hubby ? sure , you are never too old as the saying goes,  but I wonder are you ? Sometimes when you see programmes such as 'Extreme Makeover' for example, where the 'lucky' hopefuls are so desperate to be accepted and loved, yet somehow incapable of this, looking the way they look, and being happy, successful, or worthy of being loved is rather disturbing to me. What are we teaching our children ? shouldn't we all embrace who we are, for we are all unique or if we are not completely satisfied , should we all remodel ourselves based upon the templates of people themselves surgically enhanced, such as the Angelina Jolie's, Brad Pitt's and Katie Price's of this world?  Are we all being fooled ? I believe so, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I find this quest for external perfection a false prophet , it will not make you a caring or loving person if you already are not, it will not make you generous if you are mean spirited, yet we are all being seduced to buy into it. Our capabilities and advances in technology etc are fantastic and there is no denying that but is it ethical or morally correct purely for vanity's sake ?

To temporarily Juxtapose for a second , a woman who has lost a breast to cancer or both , has the possibility of reconstructive and cosmetic surgery but she still misses, and mourns the loss of her own breast, a person disfigured in an accident perhaps must have hundreds of facial cosmetic procedures to restore what was damaged and go through unbelieveable pain. This is not their choice for vanity's sake. We need to get a sense of proportion and self worth in our current society . Is it not a sickness of the mind that blurs our vision of reality ? a pound of flesh for a few quid crossing the surgeons greasy palms, will those after surgery live happily ever after ? Scars, stretch marks on your body, laughter lines and wrinkles on your face all tell a story , why should we try and hide them or be ashamed of them . The secret ingredient of beauty is being happy.

Let me leave you with two thoughts on the subject ; firstly, if we are all still around in twenty or fifty years time, will we see a wave of people walking around looking like their faces froze in super glacial winds, resembling the Joan River's of this world, incapable of displaying any facial expression ? or grandmas adorning mammories to rival those purchased by Pammy Anderson ! (conjures up a scary if slightly disturbing image in my mind :0) .

Secondly, beauty fades with time for us all, but if you are not a very nice person on the inside what are you left with ?

Perfection to me is Love. We all crave it, need it, search for it, long for it, want it, yet most look for it in the wrong places, to fill an empty place in their hearts or lives . Love is perfection.

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."
(Lau Tzu)


Here's a symbolic little story which holds both a simple yet profound message within.



"A Perfect Heart" -  author unknown.




"One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

 Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said “ your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine.” The crowd and the young man looked at the old man’s heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, there were places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn’t fit perfectly and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.

The people stared - how can he say his heart is more beautiful, they thought? The young man looked at the old man’s heart and saw its state and laughed. “You must be joking,” he said. “Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears.”

“Yes,” said the old man, “Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love - I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren’t exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared. Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn’t returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges - - giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?”

The young man stood silently with tears running down his face. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands. The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man’s heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges. The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man’s heart flowed into his. They embraced and walked away side by side. How sad it must be to go through life with a whole untouched heart.